I climbed out

So after 3 or 4 days of moping around and feeling sorry for myself I finally came to a conclusion.

I can't exactly remember how it happened...it was a mixture of braces, a piano lesson, seminars, and a song. All of the sudden I became myself again. Maybe even better than I've been before!

My last post sounded like the audition had discouraged me but really its given me more deterimination for next time. This isn't the kind of determination to prove that I can do it or that I'll do it right next time. Its that there will be a next time and a time after that.

I still think I should make sure I'm doing what God wants me to do but I don't see any harm in making plans. However, these plans are very differant than what I had before. Its kind of hard to explain. Instead of making sure my life goes just the way the list in my mind says, I'm going to take it one step at a time and not worry about the future so much.

Thats not to say I won't hope or dream. I'll still make goals too. I think goals are a healthy thing because they motivate us to accomplish something. Plus, life would be boring without anything to dream about. I'm going to work towards my goals and dreams too by practicing and organizing. There is no use just sitting around and waiting for my "dream day" if I won't be ready when it comes.

So that is what I've decided. Don't ask me how those random things I mentioned at the beginning come into this decision. They really do but its hard to understand exactly how.