Loving Life As It Is

So lately I've been playing a little game with myself. Often without knowing it and always without wanting to. The fact is though, that recently, my favorite game has been the Comparasim Game.

I just realized this yesterday but I've been doing it for a while. Its hard to explain exactly. Well, I haven't really been content with life lately. I'm always thinking about last year and everything I did that was fun then. I haven't been realizing how great this year really is.

I haven't really been happy with theatre this year either, even though I got the part I wanted. Without meaning to, or wanting to, I've been comparing this year to last year and I always come to the conclusion that last year was better.

I've also been comparing myself to others a lot. I have always done this but lately its gotten a bit out of hand. I am double cast as Cogsworth and I've been comparing my performance as the part to the other Cogsworth's. Especially in the solo part in Human Again.

All this has gotten me really annoyed with life I guess. I haven't been all that happy. I always want something other than what I have. Yesterday, I realized my problem. And I also realized that I have to fix my problem (which I have started doing). I need to love 2009 for what it is. I need to stop thinking about all the faults and failures I think this year will have or already has had. And most importantly, I need to stop longing for things that have passed and focus on whats going on right now. I need to remember that life is actually fine how it is, actually its great how it is!

Plus, every situation and person is differant. I can't fault a person, a year or anything for being differant from something or someone else. In fact, I realized that I'm very glad that everything is differant in some way!

Last but not least, thank you to Amanda for helping me realize this!!

Homework Hassles and Painfull Piano

Ok...soo today I had my piano exam. It was horrible. Well, as far as I'm concerned it was. Its not so much that it was a bad experience. Actually it was a pretty good experience. I just played badly! On one of my songs, I forgot it half way through and I asked to see my book. He was like "Well you can but you will loose marks." Well, I knew that!! But I chose not to since I had already lost quite a few marks.

Oh and the homework hassles. Um well I THOUGHT I'd finished everything last monday. But today my math teacher phoned and said she still needed a few more assignments. Well it was just a matter of faxing the stuff but then we went through some math things on the phone and..um..well I broke out in tears. Yeah, great I know. lol. Well anyway, at least that is over!

Today I realized (again!) one of the problems I have. I hate admitting troubles I have to people such as teachers, parents and friends. Like if someone asks me if I'm alright I will always say "Yes I'm fine." even if I'm actually not. Today when I was crying (and trying to hide that) I just kept saying "Its ok. We can go on." My teacher was really nice though and let me cry :)

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow (full day of theatre). I have to stay later. sigh. at least I think this is the last extra practice for me (according to the schedule). I'm also NOT looking forward to doing "Human Again."

Its funny though. I used to LOVE extra practices. In fact, ever since I started theatre 7 years ago I've wanted to stay later. I thought it would be so much fun and I thought that if you stayed late you were "cool." Well, when I was in Fiddler I stayed for my first extra practice and it wasn't nearly as fun, or cool as I thought it would be!!

But maybe it will be fun. I don't know. I really shouldn't be complaining. Oh well, at least my piano exam is done and so is Semester 1. Now, on to Semester 2!! Yeah!! Ok, better go.

Bye!!

Hello Again!

Hey there, it seems like a while since I've blogged!!

Last weekend I went on a ski trip with my youth group. It was really fun. Well, mostly fun! On the last day one of my friends and I went on a triple black run without meaing to! That was NOT fun! I took my skis off at one point and carried them and my poles as I walked. NOT a good idea! My foot got so stuck that my friend had to come help me dig it out!

I can't really think of anything else I've been doing lately except school! I'm finished science and ALMOST finished math.

I listened to a program on the inaugaration (correct spelling?!) on CKNW(correct again lol!?) It almost made me want to cry just thinking about how, just 40 years ago, a black man couldn't even drink from the same water fontaine as a white man and today a black man is the president of the United States!!!

Oh, we had theatre on Friday. I don't even know why I'm writing about it because nothing exciting happend. I felt like crying during the whole class. I know that sounds stupid but I've felt like that basically every friday. I know why..I think..but I'm not going to say on here.

Ok...well I'd better go!!!

See ya later!

Rain, School, Rain

Hey! Its raining here and it has been for the past couple of days. I'm afraid all the lovely snow will be gone soon :(. Although it was fun in the snow I am looking forward to when it gets back to normal again. I usually get tired of the snow after its been here a couple of weeks.

Well, right now I'm in a mad rush to get all my schoolwork done for Semester 1 and start fun-fun Semester 2 (English & Socials!). While I'm super excited about getting rid of these gruesome subjects (science & math lol) I'm NOT looking forward to doing my tests.

Yesterday I got a book called When I grow up, I want to be a Writer. Its a really good book! Btw I want to be a writer so its PERFECT for me. Especially since I've been having a major writing-block lately.

Well I'd better get back to things.

Bye!!

Marley & Me!!

I went to see Marley & Me today. It is an AWESOME movie! If you haven't seen it yet - SEE IT!! Be prepared to cry or get a little teary-eyed at the end though. I never cry in movies but I did cry in this one. Watching it reminded me of a year and a half ago when we had to put my dog Stretchie down =(. Marley was also SO much like Stretch!

Beauty And The Beast was also awesome! I had never been to the Stanley before and it is a very nice theatre. We also had the best seats. I would definatly recomend going next year (I believe they do it every Christmas).

What else is new? More snow!!! When will it ever end?

I'm not too excited about going back to normal stuff on Monday =(

Talk to ya'll later!