Loving Life As It Is

So lately I've been playing a little game with myself. Often without knowing it and always without wanting to. The fact is though, that recently, my favorite game has been the Comparasim Game.

I just realized this yesterday but I've been doing it for a while. Its hard to explain exactly. Well, I haven't really been content with life lately. I'm always thinking about last year and everything I did that was fun then. I haven't been realizing how great this year really is.

I haven't really been happy with theatre this year either, even though I got the part I wanted. Without meaning to, or wanting to, I've been comparing this year to last year and I always come to the conclusion that last year was better.

I've also been comparing myself to others a lot. I have always done this but lately its gotten a bit out of hand. I am double cast as Cogsworth and I've been comparing my performance as the part to the other Cogsworth's. Especially in the solo part in Human Again.

All this has gotten me really annoyed with life I guess. I haven't been all that happy. I always want something other than what I have. Yesterday, I realized my problem. And I also realized that I have to fix my problem (which I have started doing). I need to love 2009 for what it is. I need to stop thinking about all the faults and failures I think this year will have or already has had. And most importantly, I need to stop longing for things that have passed and focus on whats going on right now. I need to remember that life is actually fine how it is, actually its great how it is!

Plus, every situation and person is differant. I can't fault a person, a year or anything for being differant from something or someone else. In fact, I realized that I'm very glad that everything is differant in some way!

Last but not least, thank you to Amanda for helping me realize this!!