Life Is So Unnerving For An Actor Who Is Not Acting

He's not whole without a soul to entertain.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!! Beauty And The Beast is over and I am so sad. Nothing makes sense. Nothing is fun. My life is over. Ok, not really. Thats a bit dramatic but hey, I'm an actor. I am feeling really down though.

I just put so much work into this. I had so much fun too. And now it is done. How depressing. How disheartening. How terrible. Plus, I love the stage. I've been doing theatre for a while now but it was only just a year ago that I learned how much I loved it. And this was a total new and exciting experience. When I got up there as Cogsy I was so nervous. But soon it all disapeared and I had so much fun. By the end of my first show I felt like the audience were all my best friends.

As for the hard work thing it has been quite challanging but sooo worth it!!! Developing my character was tough but it will make me miss Cogsworth more. Its a part of my life. I feel torn a part. I feel like I'm being forced to move on and I have to leave my best friend behind. Wow, I'm dramatic.

I can't practice anymore. I can't sing the songs. I can't act. I feel like there is nothing left. Of course what my mom said is true "You can still practice your lines around the house." Or what one of the other theatre parents said when I was dissapointed that my favourite line was finished "You can still say it for your family every day." Yes I can still do those things but it won't be the same. It won't carry the magic. It won't carry the fun. I'm not going to be Cogsworth again. Never ever again.

Last but not least I am going to miss everyone terribly. Its funny, I only just realized this Saturday night when I got home how much I enjoyed getting to know everyone this year. I'm going to miss all 76 of the people I worked with. Even though I don't hang around with everyone in theatre I still love them all. I'm going to miss them so much. Of course I'm coming back but its four months till theatre starts, one year till the next show, and some people aren't even coming back!!! I also can't believe how I was looking forward to the show ending just this past Wednesday. I even considered quiting. But of course, that was after a very stressfull dress rehearsal.

In all this I often wish two things...one that life could always be the same and the other is that I hadn't worked hard or had fun. But then life would be rather dull. I wouldn't enjoy it half as much. Moving on is all part of it. I just need to remember that this is just a new chapter in my life. A new adventure. A new experience.

Build higher walls around me/Change every locke and key/nothing lasts nothing holds...does that really apply?

Oh and by the way, I am a cry baby. I've already cried multiple times on both Saturday and Sunday and will probably crash again today.